Reality is fine - for the moment it can wait, I'm addicted to the chase of my happiness!

It's not very often that my dreams come true.

Ok, that's a sort of pessimistic opening line! I really don't mean that in a negative way - truthfully, I'm far too much of a realist to ever be called a "dreamer" to begin with.

But for almost as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of traveling. Europe has always been top my list of dream destinations - I remember when I was a 19 year old college student and the internet was just invented (or so it seems), I dreamed of quitting school and backpacking through Europe. I used to search sites - such as they were back in 2001 - and read about backpacking experiences and try to figure out how I could make that happen.

I recall many times over the next decade looking at airfare to Europe, visiting tour websites (such as Contiki!) and wishing I had the money/time/freedom/guts/whatever to just take the plunge and get myself to Europe. I always regretted that I didn't study abroad (which is how I ended up in Brazil in grad school - it wasn't Europe but since Europe wasn't available it was a distant second place).

A lot of things have changed since I was 19, but one thing never changed at all - my desire to travel and my desire to get to Europe.

So when my whole life got flipped upside down this year and I decided I had the vacation time and NEEDED to escape and recharge - it seemed fitting to go to Europe.

This decision was not practical. I did not save up specifically for this vacation and I didn't even plan it very well - I booked the trip about 6 weeks before my flight was leaving. I had had fleeting thoughts about doing this for a couple of months before booking, but kept talking myself out of it because it wasn't the best financial decision, I wasn't sure about going on my own, I wasn't sure about taking 2 weeks off of work - but one Saturday afternoon, I looked up flights once again and on a sort of impulse, I clicked the "purchase" button.

And so I was going on a 16 day trip to Europe - by myself.

A lot of people I told thought I was nuts. Heck, I wasn't sure if I was nuts - I knew I'd be fine on my own, I'm my favorite person to travel with and I don't mind being alone in the least. But I had no idea what I was really getting into, and I didn't know for sure if Contiki was going to be the right tour company for me or really what was going to happen.

Sometimes the most irrational decisions are the best ones.

After all, I've made a lot of very practical decisions in my life and they've mostly landed me with things like student loan debt, a divorce, and not a lot of happiness.

This trip was a dream that I made happen. It's not every day that your dreams come true, and it's definitely not every day that you have the power to make that happen on your own. I thought there was probably not a more perfect way to celebrate my new single life - restart my life as Jill on my own - than to do something I have wanted to do as long as I've wanted anything in my entire life.

So - this blog is a record of my trip. I've written several posts, so this post - the one I'm first sharing with the world - is an attempt to organize all those posts into more of a cohesive story. I realize every reader may not want to read 18 blog posts at once, so hopefully you can navigate to the ones you want to read and skip those you don't (but please read them all... ha!).

One thing I will note before you read on - this blog is written not just as a chronicle of what I did in Europe. It's written from the perspective of someone who is purposely trying to restart the way she's living her life.

If there was one thing I learned on this trip, it was that I can feel happiness. I think I've been unhappy with my life as long as I can remember and while I rationally know that I have a wonderful life filled with wonderful people and I'm so fortunate in so many ways - I have never lived a life that was truly focused on what would make me feel happiness. I've always had a case of the "shoulds" - I should have a stable job. I should get married and own a home. I should have kids someday. I should act like a mature and responsible adult.

For two weeks of my life, I didn't do anything I "should" do and just did exactly what I wanted to do. I chased my happiness.

I learned that I should spend more time worrying about what makes me actually happy and less time worrying about what I "should" do.  Because you know what? It turns out most of that stuff that should make me happy doesn't. Maybe I don't want to get married again. Maybe kids are not for me. Maybe I'm meant to quit my job someday and travel around the world and piece together a living doing things that bring me joy.

Honestly, I have no idea what I "will" do. And I'm glad I don't have to figure that out right now. But seeing this piece of the world and forming relationships with these wonderful strangers and really getting out there and living my life - it's given me a new inspiration. I feel like although my life in Iowa seems so much smaller since this trip, my excitement for my life ahead of me seems so much larger. I can't wait to travel again. I can't wait to chase my happiness and see where it leads me. I guess you'd say I am addicted to the feeling I got while traveling the world and I want more of it.

So - this blog is written from that perspective. Parts of it are strictly about the places I went and what I saw. Parts of it touch on experiences with other people and doing things - like partying like a 22 year old and having moments with people of the opposite sex - that I haven't done in many years. Parts of it acknowledge that this was really a turning point in moving forward from being divorced - it was kind of like the final chapter of the last story and the first chapter of a new one.

I did try to protect privacy of those I was with and not share anything too personal or embarrassing to others, and I did change the spelling of certain names to make them less Google-able.

But for the most part, I tried to be authentic in telling my story. Because it's not just a story of going to Paris and Rome and other places in Europe - it's a story of experiencing my life. Of restarting it.

Contiki European Highlights - September 2013

We visited several different countries on this trip:

The tour started in London, where I had a full day to myself before actually meeting up with the group.

The first day of the actual tour, we drove from London through the White Cliffs of Dover to Paris. We got to spend a full day in Paris the next day, which was my favorite day of the entire tour.

After Paris, we drove through a beautiful wine region and spent a night at a chateau in the Beaujolais Wine Region. We concluded our tour de France by spending two nights in the French Riviera, which included a full day in Nice and an evening trip to Monaco.

We left France and drove into Italy. Our first day included a stop in Pisa and a night in Florence. From Florence we drove to Rome, where we spent two nights and got to see Vatican City on our full day in Rome.  From Rome we headed to Venice, my second favorite city on the entire tour.

When we left Italy, we drove through Austria and into Germany. Our first stop was a night in Munich, followed by a night in St. Goar along the Rhine River.

Our final stop was Amsterdam , where we spent two nights and had our final adventures. This tour was a total whirlwind - it still amazes me that I was able to function at the end of two weeks of rapid sightseeing, late nights spent with new friends, and experiencing more in 15 days than I possibly could have imagined.

I also wrote a review of my trip, if anyone reading is interested in doing a Contiki tour or really any other similar tour.

I hope you enjoy reading about everything as much as I enjoyed writing about it (I know it's not possible to enjoy it as much as I did experiencing it all!). I do plan to continue writing this blog, though I can't guarantee it will be as interesting as a trip to Europe, I hope my life will continue to be interesting to write about as I continue to chase my happiness.

Also, in case you are wondering what the heck I'm talking about with all this "chasing my happiness" business  -  it's in reference to a song that Sarah played on our coach every morning. It was our tour song, "It Can Wait" by Illy. The refrain is not only catchy, but really resonated as we were in Europe chasing happiness and avoiding reality for two weeks. I think I was pretty successful in catching it - if only for what now seems like a moment.

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